Hi Tai of the Tales, like others I’m happy to see you back at it! I have also experienced a similar need for reset, and just restarted releasing a new short story recently, so I support your being kind to yourself while life is lifey. (Sorry this is totally referencing another post, I think).
Back to this one:
I love that you provide guidance for what kind of comments you’d be interested in, and I enjoy your writing and appreciate your openness to suggestions to improve the story.
Here are the formative questions I’m asking as a reader at this point:
1) why was Meadows promoted just recently? Is it related to Bron’s illness or the weirdness going on?
2) Miss Brahams is 100% up to something
3) the bathroom was clearly broken into and cleaned? Seems like it wasn’t a servant of the house otherwise
Some things that maybe as a reader I’m not supposed to be asking?
1) it struck me as odd that Meadows as a manservant he was not…well, serving his charge at any point so far. As a manservant wouldn’t he be close to the other people, the cook or maid or others who’d have more info about Bron’s health since they’d be attending to his bedridden needs?
2) Because your description of the blood seems so obviously like blood, it made me question whether Meadows is a competent character and if he is this incompetent, why did he get the promotion to manservant?
3) Similar question—it seems the bathroom was broken into and it makes me doubt Meadows’ intellect that he doesn’t wonder this. Is Meadows kind of a dim wit? At this point I’m thinking he must be but I have lingering doubts
4) Andy seems the second most guilty/suspicious character but he only gets mentioned once and I have no idea if I’m supposed to still be wondering about him since Meadows never thinks of it again
Hope this is helpful! :) Looking forward to next week.
What a wonderful, well thought out feedback! To answer some of your comments:
2) Miss Brahams is 100% up to something - OH YEAH
it made me question whether Meadows is a competent character - Very good catch hehhe.
Is Meadows kind of a dim wit? You will get the characters commenting on this later lol
Andy is actually a mistake hahha. I changed his name to Aiman and missed this one Andy out.. Thank you for spotting it for me ;D
PS: Also, I saw that you left a comment about why you upgraded your subscription but Substack won't let me read or respond to it (hah!). I just want to say I'm very thankful and grateful that you saw it worth your dollars, and thanks so much again :D
Happy to hear I caught something vaguely useful re Aiman/Andy :D
Also, I am disproportionately happy to hear Meadows is in fact not the brightest bulb haha. Could it be useful to hang a lantern on that somewhere early like him musing he’s grateful for the promotion especially in light of his frequent mistakes/misshaps/bad luck whatever hint you want to use compared to his peers?
Re my comment about the upgrading: I said something like “1) I’m a fan of your writing and your experimental fractured tales format thing (forgot exactly what you call it) and 2) I’m a huge fan of this suggestions for comments section and I asked if you’d mind if I copycat you and have a similar section at the end of my posts :) I’d be happy to credit you about it!
Hehe I am glad at least one or two are looking forward to my fiction. I have not been particularly inspired to write fiction because my brain wants to skip forward and write this wuxia (A Chinese martial arts genre).
This makes me feel like I'm a kid again, watching a Flash Gordon black and white series in the school holidays (they were re-runs, I'm not *that* old). Each episode ended on a real cliff hanger, just like you've done here. It hooked me then, and it did now. I should add that I mostly didn't notice the writing and for me that's a good thing. I like it best when I fall through the page/screen and see what's happening in my mind's eye, and I can only do that if the writing is working properly for me.
A belated hello and happy to see you back at writing Sci-Fi, Tai, you were one of the first writers I "met" as Substack began to transform this past summer, and got me more involved. Looking forward to reading along to the end of this mosaic novel! :)
This kept my attention, I like being dropped into the middle of a story and having to work to get my bearings. Not sure yet what kind of a person Meadows is, but I’m looking forward to finding out.
“There was another drop a feet away.” -> a foot away
This was driving him mad. Surely she would tell him what was wrong? But she spent the rest of the hour quietly absorbed in her work while he tried hard not to think about the secret. he. was keeping away from him.
Hi Tai of the Tales, like others I’m happy to see you back at it! I have also experienced a similar need for reset, and just restarted releasing a new short story recently, so I support your being kind to yourself while life is lifey. (Sorry this is totally referencing another post, I think).
Back to this one:
I love that you provide guidance for what kind of comments you’d be interested in, and I enjoy your writing and appreciate your openness to suggestions to improve the story.
Here are the formative questions I’m asking as a reader at this point:
1) why was Meadows promoted just recently? Is it related to Bron’s illness or the weirdness going on?
2) Miss Brahams is 100% up to something
3) the bathroom was clearly broken into and cleaned? Seems like it wasn’t a servant of the house otherwise
Some things that maybe as a reader I’m not supposed to be asking?
1) it struck me as odd that Meadows as a manservant he was not…well, serving his charge at any point so far. As a manservant wouldn’t he be close to the other people, the cook or maid or others who’d have more info about Bron’s health since they’d be attending to his bedridden needs?
2) Because your description of the blood seems so obviously like blood, it made me question whether Meadows is a competent character and if he is this incompetent, why did he get the promotion to manservant?
3) Similar question—it seems the bathroom was broken into and it makes me doubt Meadows’ intellect that he doesn’t wonder this. Is Meadows kind of a dim wit? At this point I’m thinking he must be but I have lingering doubts
4) Andy seems the second most guilty/suspicious character but he only gets mentioned once and I have no idea if I’m supposed to still be wondering about him since Meadows never thinks of it again
Hope this is helpful! :) Looking forward to next week.
Hello Rachel,
What a wonderful, well thought out feedback! To answer some of your comments:
2) Miss Brahams is 100% up to something - OH YEAH
it made me question whether Meadows is a competent character - Very good catch hehhe.
Is Meadows kind of a dim wit? You will get the characters commenting on this later lol
Andy is actually a mistake hahha. I changed his name to Aiman and missed this one Andy out.. Thank you for spotting it for me ;D
PS: Also, I saw that you left a comment about why you upgraded your subscription but Substack won't let me read or respond to it (hah!). I just want to say I'm very thankful and grateful that you saw it worth your dollars, and thanks so much again :D
Happy to hear I caught something vaguely useful re Aiman/Andy :D
Also, I am disproportionately happy to hear Meadows is in fact not the brightest bulb haha. Could it be useful to hang a lantern on that somewhere early like him musing he’s grateful for the promotion especially in light of his frequent mistakes/misshaps/bad luck whatever hint you want to use compared to his peers?
Re my comment about the upgrading: I said something like “1) I’m a fan of your writing and your experimental fractured tales format thing (forgot exactly what you call it) and 2) I’m a huge fan of this suggestions for comments section and I asked if you’d mind if I copycat you and have a similar section at the end of my posts :) I’d be happy to credit you about it!
Rust colored? Sounds a bit like blood drops to me. Is the good master dying of cancer?
It's good to see you writing, and I can't wait til the next installment.
Thanks! I hope once a week isn't too long a wait 😬😁
I agree with Joesph. It’s been awhile since I’ve seen you post fiction. This was a pleasant surprise to wake up to!
Hehe I am glad at least one or two are looking forward to my fiction. I have not been particularly inspired to write fiction because my brain wants to skip forward and write this wuxia (A Chinese martial arts genre).
When you write your wuxia, I'll be there to read it. You are a great writer.
This makes me feel like I'm a kid again, watching a Flash Gordon black and white series in the school holidays (they were re-runs, I'm not *that* old). Each episode ended on a real cliff hanger, just like you've done here. It hooked me then, and it did now. I should add that I mostly didn't notice the writing and for me that's a good thing. I like it best when I fall through the page/screen and see what's happening in my mind's eye, and I can only do that if the writing is working properly for me.
A belated hello and happy to see you back at writing Sci-Fi, Tai, you were one of the first writers I "met" as Substack began to transform this past summer, and got me more involved. Looking forward to reading along to the end of this mosaic novel! :)
Hello Edward! Thank you for the kind welcome :D
This kept my attention, I like being dropped into the middle of a story and having to work to get my bearings. Not sure yet what kind of a person Meadows is, but I’m looking forward to finding out.
“There was another drop a feet away.” -> a foot away
I like those stories too! It keeps me guessing. PS: Thanks for spotting that, correcting it now :P
This was driving him mad. Surely she would tell him what was wrong? But she spent the rest of the hour quietly absorbed in her work while he tried hard not to think about the secret. he. was keeping away from him.
Can't wait for further reading Liz.
Hey Mandy, really nice to see you here! :D