The Vigil at the Manor (Part 4/7)
In the world of the Silent, secrets can be found behind doors and words. A Distant Stars mosaic novel story.
The vigil at the Manor is a seven-part science fiction story and one of the stories in the Distant Stars mosaic novel. A new part will be released every Saturday.
A mosaic novel is made up of interconnected short stories. Head on over to the Distant Stars story index to read the other stories.
Trigger warning: Discussions of suicide.
"How do you even tolerate listening to his stupid mumbling?" Mister Bron said, this time with more venom. His voice was so soft Meadows had to lean close to the keyhole to hear what he said.
"Now, that isn't a nice thing to say about a man who is worried about you."
Meadows smiled. Miss Brahms was always so kind.
"He's not worried, he's being smug."
He couldn't hear what Miss Brahms said, but it would probably be something lovely. She always said wonderful things to soothe people's hurts, even people like Bron.
“Perhaps I should've chosen the lake,” Bron said suddenly.
Meadows went still. Mister Bron didn't add much context, but he understood what he meant perfectly.
“But then, maybe nobody would find me for weeks, because nobody would know that I was there because nobody would care that I’ve gone. Then one day, my rotting corpse will rise to the surface and maybe scare Lady Luxor. She does like that lake of hers. And that’s why I didn’t do it … I don’t think it would have been a pretty sight.”
Meadows jumped when something hit the ground with a heavy thud.
“Why are you talking like this?” That was Miss Brahms. But she sounded angry. She was never angry.
“I don't want you talking like this. Not ever again. I don't want to ever think that you can leave us like that again, that we would be okay with you just disappearing from our lives by ….”
Meadows leaned closer to the door, but he couldn't hear what she said.
“You're the only one thinking like this. Everybody would prefer me gone,” Mister Bron said bitterly.
“You’re wrong. _I’m_ not everybody. Nor is Aiman or even Mister Meadows.”
Me? Miss Brahms, I know you're a considerate woman, but please do not include me in this list. Mister Bron is an ungrateful --
Then he heard sobbing. Mister Bron. Meadows went warm with embarrassment. What was he doing here? He was standing outside the door of a man at his most vulnerable moment, spying on him like a villain.
The sound of footsteps coming towards the door.
Meadows gasped and scuttled as quietly away, only to be confronted with a dead end.
The door opened. More footsteps. Only, they didn't continue.
Grimacing, he turned.
Miss Brahms was standing by the door, a look of heavy disapproval on her face.
Before he could say anything, apologise, make up an excuse, something in her pocket vibrated and glowed, turning the left side of her plain black dress red.
She gasped, turned around and fled, her leather shoes barely making a sound as she disappeared into the bowels of the manor.
When Miss Brahms was finally gone, Meadows finally allowed himself to let out his gasp.
Technology. Miss Brahms had technology on her!
Part 5 will be coming out on the second week of December. By the way, Happy Thanksgiving to all who celebrate it!
Something interesting happened when writing this short story. I had all seven parts written, but I wasn’t 100% happy with it. But I decided to just release it. Then I got feedback and realised something, and am now rewriting the last half of the story and I feel much better about it. Better, I got another short story out of this!
This is what I love about the “live writing and publishing” experience. Sometimes feedback helps you create a better story.
Speaking of feedback, it’ll be great if you can leave me what you think. I created a guide below:
Want to leave a comment but stumped on what to say?
No worries, I have the same dilemma each time I read fiction on Substack! Here are some prompts to help you:
If you notice any errors - spelling, grammar, or inconsistencies, please do not hesitate to point them out.
How did the story make you feel?
What are you especially curious about after reading this part?
Want to try guess the technology that Miss Brahms has?
Anything you don’t quite understand and want clarified?
What do you think about the characters in this scene?
As this is a work in progress, I’d welcome your feedback so that I can improve the story. So, I hope that you can leave a comment below :)
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I've read the first four parts all at once (because I could, one big advantage of joining a serial part-way through). It makes me think of The Remains of the Day, and also a little of The Diamond Age. Old manners resurrected in a high tech age.
I didn't like the dead end. Why would there be one? I think it may have a part to play in the plot. But if Meadows is still visible from the door when it's opened, then surely a dead end would be as well so why would he go that way?
I'm really looking forward to the final parts :)